Kya’s Mummy
This month’s blog is dedicated the wonderful human being who made me a mother. My dear darling Kya: Kyita, princess, little possum, cookie, my mini-me. I hate to sound like a cliché, but it genuinely surprises me how much Kya reminds me of myself. Not only does she look almost identical to how I looked at her age, but she smiles at everyone and is friendly in a way that reminds me that she shares my DNA.
I gave birth to Kya 26 weeks premature. The beginning stages of Kya’s life were precarious; we prayed every day for her good health. At times, gateway into motherhood felt incredibly turbulent. My darling daughter, my first born, has taught me so much about what it means to truly love someone, and I am so grateful that she has chosen me as her mother.
Kya turned four in April, and I am so happy to say she has grown into a kind, charming and healthy girl. Whereas Kylian is incredibly shy around anyone he doesn’t know (and guarded around some of the people he does), Kya is determined to be everybody’s friend. She will say hello to anyone who makes eye contact with her, is charmed by strangers who say hello to her when we’re out in public and is generally committed to living her best social life – when she wants.
My daughter is a girl who has an incredibly robust sense of self, sometimes I wonder where she gets it from. Sometimes I am genuinely surprised by how much Kya knows herself, and how confident she feels to live her life exactly as she desires. Kya is an incredibly affectionate little lady; she loves cuddles and kisses and isn’t afraid to make sure she gets them – hundreds of times a day. I can’t knock it at all – Kya loves to be loved and loves to remind us of how much she loves us.
One of the things I respect Kya a lot for is that she knows what she wants. It is a trait I wish she never loses. At the tender age of four, Kya has made it explicitly clear that she wants a house with a garden and a swimming pool. Seriously, I have had to take notes. Kya’s goals influence my goals at this point. When I drop her at nursery, she’ll let the nursery know that ‘Mummy has to go to work to get Kya’s house with the garden and swimming pool.’ Kya is my boss, and I simply do as I am told (or, at least I try). I’m pretty sure her house goals stems from her grandparents; she spends a lot of time visiting them, and they have a lovely garden and bought an inflatable kids’ pool specifically for Kya and Kylian to enjoy. My kids’ dreams give me something to work towards.
Kya’s development has simply been amazing to witness. She is an incredibly intelligent toddler. Kya is incredibly inquisitive and will ask hundreds of questions a day in her quest to make sense of the world. I remember, even before she knew how to read, I would sometimes find her with an open book in hand, trawling through each line – as though she knew one day it would all make sense to her. Kya loves to read; she also loves to read to her brother and me. If Kya has enjoyed a story, she loves nothing more than to make sure she can let us enjoy it too. Kya doesn’t just love reading; she seems to love everything. I don’t know if I’ve ever met someone so comfortable doing absolutely whatever. They say variety is the spice of life, and somehow Kya knew this inside the womb. She’s happy to play by herself or with others, whether it’s running around, playing with toys, or making up pretend games. When she’s not playing with other people, she’s an expert at entertaining herself. Surprisingly, Kya can’t be convinced to watch TV for too long – she has too much energy! Where Kya truly comes into her own is when she’s singing, dancing, painting (yes, even on my clean walls), or tracing her words. It is a busy day in the life of Kya.
When Kya isn’t playing, reading, performing, or generally entertaining herself, she doubles up as Mummy’s Little Helper. When I was pregnant with Kylian, a small part of me was worried Kya might get jealous, but I had nothing to worry about at all. My daughter is the most attentive big sister; she is always looking out for Kylian. Sometimes Kya will repeat instructions I’ve given both of them, to make sure Kylian knows to do as he’s been told. Other times, Kya will want to help me change Kylian’s nappy or put him to bed. At heart, Kya wants to help me do everything – whether it’s looking after her brother, cooking or cleaning. Every now and again I have to remind myself that she’s only (recently turned) four. She takes so much pride in being Kylian’s big sister, and often looks out for him as though he were her own son. That there’s less than a year between them doesn’t seem to bother her. Maybe it’s the Montessori style I’ve been trying with Kya, but she has become an incredibly independent child who knows herself and wants to do things for herself, just because she can.
I have already mentioned that Kya is my mini-me, only better. One thing we both have in common is our love of food. Like me, Kya absolutely loves chicken. Occasionally, she’ll smile and do a little dance when eating food, she really knows how to enjoy. Currently on Kya’s list of favourite foods are: cucumber, avocado, carrots, sauces – especially ketchup and peppers (but not the green ones!).
Another thing I find so endearing about Kya is that she knows she is pretty and isn’t slightly scared to admit it! My daughter values herself and is so secure within herself. Recently she’s discovered she loves having her hair in braids and beads. I can’t lie, the hairstyle suits her so much, and she loves it. Kya also constantly lets me know that she thinks I’m pretty, too. In a conversation with her key worker, I found out that – when they compliment Kya – she’ll say, ‘thank you, I’m beautiful like mummy’. She gets it from her mama, I guess.
The grace and care that Kya extends to everyone in her life only adds to what makes her so wonderful. She doesn’t just look out for her brother, she also looks out for me.When I go to my room to lie down, Kya will follow me in to ask if I’m okay and shower me with hugs and kisses. Recently, a bit like her brother, she’s taken into crawling into my bed halfway through the night – just to be next to me. Also like her brother, Kya always wants me in her sight. When we’re out, even if my hands are full, she wants to hold my hand. Sometimes this means Kya’s grabbing onto my shirt or just any part of me that means she can feel me close to her. She is so sweet.
What Kya and I do not have in common, is that Kya is a naturally early riser. She is always the first in the family to wake up on a weekend and is the person who keeps me from oversleeping on the weekday.
Ultimately, it is no exaggeration to say I am astonished by Kya. She is the most amazing little lady. Everyday I am in awe of how she lives her life with such conviction. Especially considering that she was born 26 weeks premature, it truly brings tears to my eyes to think of everything she has survived and overcome, and how she continues to flourish and define her life on her own terms.
I guess, when I look at Kya, I wonder how someone so little can be so great. She inspires me every single day.
