Expressing, Breast-feeding & Bottle-feeding
It's hard to comprehend but yes I did breastfeed my preemie. Not for long but
I still got the chance to bond with her in that way and it felt amazing to be able to even for a short period of time.
As Kya was a micro-preemie (born between 24-27 weeks) she didn't develop her sucking reflexes until week 35. From her first day of life she was receiving nutrition through her umbilical cord, then as the weeks passed she received TPN (Total parenteral nutrition) which is a mixture of electrolytes, sugars, fats, protein, minerals, vitamins and fluid which is given before milk feedings start and what keeps her gut working. Whilst Kya was on TPN I was expressing my breast milk which would would be used for mouth care and the start of her milk feeds.
First of all I had to hand express to get the breast milk flowing. I would hand express the milk every three hours into a syringe and would only get 0.2-0.5ml each time. Initially before breast milk flows the breast releases colostrum which is the first form of milk and looks quite yellow and thick. The colostrum was used for mouth care for various reasons such as introducing taste and smell to her and even making me feel part of Kya's care. Most importantly the colostrum provided Kya with specialised protection against harmful bacteria. As the doctors explained how breast milk is tailored for the baby I felt even more pressure to make sure I kept on top of my supply. That meant literally no sleep, as the more I expressed the more milk I got. The truth is it was so tiring. I went from hand expressing to using the electric pump and I was always so drained. Visiting baby in the hospital for so many hours, lack of sleep, poor eating and expressing on top I was relieved when the time came to put Kya on the breast!
It was great breast-feeding. As I was doing it regularly I was given a place to stay in hospital so I could breast-feed Kya every 3 hours. I know having a baby is a full-time job but after having her in hospital I had no idea what it would be like to be with Ky 24/7. Sadly after only two weeks of breast-feeding there were too many difficulties with my supply and getting Kya to drink enough to gain sufficient weight. So it was decided that Kya would be bottle-fed the breastmilk I had expressed and stored . I was disappointed but thought she's still getting the nutrients tailored to her so I didn't mind. That was until the supply I stored was running out as Kya's feed increased and I couldn't pump as much as before.
I literally cried when the breastmilk ran out and Kya was started on formula. Fortunately it was a prescribed formula that would help Kya as a premature baby and meant she didn't have to go straight onto normal formula - which doesn't have the extra nutrients and bits she needed.
At the end of the day breast feeding is excellent, but the truth is not everyone can do it for as long as they want and I learnt not to be too hard on myself. Kay has done so well on her prescribed formula and grown into such a healthy big baby and thats the important part.
No one should feel low if they can't breastfeed. All a baby really needs is to be loved unconditionally and everything comes after that. Congratulations to the women who can breast-feed and congratulations to those who can't yet find the best alternative.
Keep going mums!
T x
